I'm sorry Janis Joplin, but feeling good is (not) good enough for me

— JulianMyJulian 2023 Review —



2023 was a weird time, I twisted and stretched myself in every possible direction that I could in order to avoid recognizing and attacking the things keeping me insane.
Not for nothing though, it turns out that I work very well under pressure and my critical thinking allows me to make decisions that I have to commit to, much
to my benefit. or I’m just exceptionally lucky.

Hoi, I’m JulianMyJulian, and if you didn’t know that, I’m surprised that you are here, reading this. I am an artist, Black Metal Enthusiast, prince of a land you’ve heard many dark tales of, and a keeper of souls.
I will eat you if provoked. I like Violins, Women, and 90s Edge Cinema.
Read my About Page if you’re a weirdo who wants to know things about people : https://vqcd.cool/Q/1300

2023 Achievements
I have designed this grid to showcase an approximation of the art I made in 2023. This was a good art year. The most visible improvement I’ve made in a while.

However in 2024 I will cease my habit of looking back and lamenting, and will be moving full steam ahead with the skills I’ve learned.
a light warning that many images shown -while crude, are adult in nature and not safe for viewing of those prohibited by Age

-I bought a house!
it was a long time coming, several years prior I had a big break up and shortly after moved back in with my parents.
However, my parent’s location was a dump, with constant plumbing and foundation issues.
to avoid additional loss of time and effort in my life, this new property has been purchased, giving me – the clarity of a new location (same city though, for all of you stalkers out there), heaps of potential equity in the future, and just a stronger foothold in the community in general.



-Took on an Artist mentorship with a crazy old man who understands my goals and style
I’m a bit of a moron, I spent a long time at the start of 2023, looking to my peers for art advise and critique. Sometimes I took it well, other times, I took it less than well.
it didn’t seem like anyone was understanding my process, or goals. By happenstance, I started communication with an older artist who liked some of the art I posted on my  Mastodon Account (yes, I am on Mastodon, follow me will ya)
and his instruction has been indispensable. My technique has improved a lot, resulting more confident, and faster execution of ideas. Which bodes well for what I have planned for this year.



-Re-learned audio editing and clean up:
I co-host on a podcast called Main Character Syndrome[linked: an Episode I edited], a show created by Cheesymanfredo[twitter] where we talk about things we’re working on and talk to other Artists about their work and interests.
Cheesy is more of the highlight, as he more readily absorbs and engages Guests. I provide mild reprieve and sometimes accidentally derail and do some of the Editing, people seem to like it. Audio Editing is so weird you guys.
But I think I’m kind of good at it, as long as I’m caffeinated. if you know my lore, I was basically bred for it. Get Subscribed, more episodes are being made.



-Bought a GPDWin4
everyone who knows me knows that I am an avid, disgusting PlayStation Vita fiend. I picked one up cheap from one of my local Game Traders, and after a few months of mostly not getting it (my wifi is so ass, that I never managed to Remote play or download any large Games on it very early on), Sony ceased or at least slowed software support for the device.
Emboldening me to jailbreak the device and take it for another spin. When the GPDWin4 was announced, I pogged so hard.  It was like a chunky Vita that could play Metal Gear Solid 4. Lucky for me, I remain prudish and cynical in all situations concerning money, and I waited before buying the first version, because GPD eventually developed and sold a second revision with a better Chipset and many minor hardware revisions.  At some point I would like to write about my experience with the device and share it with you. Not many Youtubers or certain shamy “Handheld Enthusiast Outlets” are talking about it at all, despite showcasing devices like the SteamDeck and Republic.of.Gamers Ally side by side. I have been having a ton of fun with it since they started shipping late in the year.
Having this thing, legitimately brings me joy and excitement in a way I don’t often get to enjoy.



-Made new friends
I have grown ever increasingly more online in the last few years, having to make conscious decisions to not just stay on my computer all day. Despite that, I have created and maintained positive relationships that I don’t mind supporting, on the webline and in the Meatspace. Scraping just enough time for myself to be alone with my thoughts at my day job.



-Began the first steps to realizing eyeCatch! in it’s full form
I’m excited. I have always wanted to start a Magazine. when I was younger, I had insane designs and investments into a Multi Connected Gaming Network, and a PlayStation Magazine.  However, as time has passed, the traditional focuses that influences those ideas have become incredibly uninteresting to me. PlayStation Devices in General just don’t have the appeal they used, to, the PlayStation 5 for all intents and purposes is just a big streaming box that also plays games.
eyeCatch! is intended to be a smaller more focused pursuit, with a significant shift towards Art in general and well as various interests that dip into the realms of popular culture. This first issue has been a bit on the back burner as I have bounded back and forth and all around, looking for people that I can work with, and rely on for future issues, making revision to my process as I go along. I hope you will indulge me, as despite taking in the work and assistance of others, eyeCatch! will be mostly my voice at the loudspeaker.



-organized my porn collection
well y’know, this just speaks for itself. Thanks to plex I was able to go through my library and tag, rename, and organize tons of films (of the adult variety) I love well produced adult film. Movies that take the premise of physical intimacy seriously, for better or for worse. I’m not a fan of the media that immediately leaps into the sex (with a few exceptions), but rather those that take their time with the progression of the involved parties, the cummunication that is performed, spoken and unspoken in between bids for the pleasure and recognition of another.
my normal Movie Collection is probably jealous as fuck, but I’m not too fussed with it.  those movies all have detailed credits and a readable title card. ~nyoron


-bought a new phone
I got myself a Sony Xperia 1 V, mostly because I was jealous of everyone else’s great smart phone photography, sick of being made fun of for my selfies, and annoyed that the number of applications that my Note 8 cannot run was increasing.
aside from the fact that this phone does not come with the Bravia Expereince (a European exclusive apparently) I have been very pleased with it, using the phone to take crisp clean photos, play with the latest apps everyone is gushing over, watching ‘The Curse’ starring Emma stone, and most shocking of all, taking Calls, my old phone could not hold a signal with my current carrier for some reason, and did a terrible job when it came to roaming data. I’m very happy with this device and I obsessively clean it every day.

2023 Failures

-I gained weight in august and never worked it off
moving house really shook me up, I got busted out of my routines and settled into really bad eating habits (like not eating for a full day, and then eating more than I know I can handle…at midnight!).
still working on correcting this, but I have been trying out different things for the past few months. I got a standing desk that should hopefully be of some assistance as I spend half of every day at my day job.


-lost a few friends
not much to say, no fingers to point. It just became clear that I can’t reconcile with some people, and dwelling on it was effecting and damaging my other relationships.



-I damaged my shoulder earlier in the year
speaking of damage! OW OW OWUUUGHAH! Please do not lift passively, and always pursue proper form. Not that I blame myself entirely for the injury, I am imbalanced inherently due to a few bodily factors, but it could have been avoided by taking things slower.
I can’t enjoy a Deadpool Physique if I’m dead. (Girls who think Deadpool is sexy, feel free to DM me)



-blew up my fool proof budget, I need MORE money now(or just a new budget)
turns out that moving costs money, and on top of starting all of these new projects, I really burned the candle at both ends. I’m afraid to examine my budget, because the first thing to go is probably going to be my Patreon Pledges ($70 a Month for some of the best media I have ever seen, and in some others the deep satisfaction of my name being shouted out for support), or my dummy thick onlyfans/Twitch budget of $50 a Month, which in hindsight might have been a mistake. or the bi-Weekly Energy Drink runs, I should just start drinking Coffee again, but I don’t like waiting for it to brew! aaahh, everything is hard. What happened?





-Disgustgang did not come out
I made a ton of rewrites and got delayed by my recent move.  If you are unaware, Disgustgang is a comic I’m developing about an Internet Journalist trying to keep her head afloat in a future reality where information is the currency whose value is measured by Truth and Lies.  In this life, everyone is a Liar.  But our Heroine believes she’s made of stronger moral fiber. Watch her blow up, literally?  Figuratively? I am not sure, I didn’t write that part yet, I just know that it happens. as the Adventures unfold in Disgustgang, or at least that was the plan.  2024 is going to be my year though.

2023 Reasons I'm the coolest

-In 2023 I donated around $5000 to small artists and LGBTQAPP individuals and Causes.
That’s almost double what I spent in 2022, and I can’t write off(or whatever it’s called, y’know the funky fucky sexy tax thing) even half of it, because they were direct payments.
Some of the funds did go to friends, but they are also artists and also Gay, so I’m just lumping all of that together.




-I designed a car exterior
this was a personal project, just something that I had wanted to do for years. I used to draw a lot of cars as a kid, and I just fell off as time passed. I watched Anime.
Breasts and eyes are just more interesting to draw.  I might share this work in the near future, but it really is just something that was for me, so I might not.




-I participated in 16 Municipal events, hearings in my area, for the good of all peoples
I can’t tell you where I live, but things have stated getting just a little bit more socialist around these parts.  I helped do that. It’s exhausting though.
and the worst part is that I got into it, to improve the Metro system, which has only gotten worse.




-I went on 11ish Dates
it was cool, I forget sometimes that being a prince also means getting to charm and be charmed. Regretfully however, these dates were not with just one girl.
I don’t think I have it in me to go on any more one off or two off Dates. I just want to date one person, if I must.
(which, I guess I don’t “need” to do that. but it’s an itch in the back of my head. When the Mortgage is paid off, and I move on to the next property, I will either be alone, or be with someone, and I uhhhh don’t want to be alone)



-I fell out of my Video Game Habit
this is a bit of a white lie, but I’ll tell you why.  I play Video Games every day.  I buy new games every month, and purchase bundles. I am addicted to pressing buttons and seeing things on screen react and sounds play.
I’ve just managed to limit that to mostly an hour a day, like how your parents tried to limit you to, for your benefit, but you fought them constantly because you were a kid and you knew that Disgaea offering 40 hours of gameplay didn’t mean, playing for 40 days to completion, because you sucked at math and didn’t read the manual.  But I’m an adult now and If I hit a wall, I just cheat.  Most of these games are realistically not worth my time, but I can’t stop myself.  So I bend the rules for my pleasure.
is that a blow to my Gamer Cred? only if you’re a Gamer, in which case I laugh. the day of the Gamer has eclipsed you fool, many don’t even suckle from the teat of the button press, they just watch other people play.  I’m still better than them and I’m better than you-
ahem.  Sorry about that, I got a little toxic for a moment. Please just enjoy things as you like on your own time, but be conscious of the investment others likely have made if you are not committing as much to the thing as they are.
>proceeds to sink 4 hours into a Ryu Ga Gotoku adventure



-I made a ton of Art
I just appreciate looking back at all of the art I made the last year, some of it is bad, but most of it is good! I can do tons of things I was not able to do before.
annoyingly, I feel I now have the knowledge do do all kinds of fanart I never did, for fandoms nobody cares about. it is to laugh.

2023 Reasons that I suck

-I can’t stop saying things that confuse or confound people
some people find it funny, or say it’s a part of my appeal as a person.
But as I socialize more, I’m noticing that am alienating myself from others in ways that could probably be avoided, I have yet to fully assess how, but I am starting to see the pattern.
I meet someone> They lower my guard  >I say something insane >the conversation abruptly ends, it was murdered >the trail runs cold >I meet someone
if you recognize this behavior and have a solution, send me a message on Masto or Twitter or any other kind of public gathering space. I will fight you, but if you have nothing but free time, you might get something out of it.



-I don’t recognize that a radical stance isn’t worth sharing if I have no plans to act on them, causing arguments
pretty much that.  mostly to do with concepts of intellectual property and ownership. I would like to have my cake and eat it two and live in a fantasy worlds where corporations don’t ruin everything good we have ever had.




-I have too much porn and enough porn knowledge and I think about sex all the time
this might not be a problem, but some people I’ve talked to are put off by it, and I don’t see them for six months afterwards




-I frequently get sad or mad
and I think to myself “I should go. No one will miss me.” Which I’m sure isn’t true, but golly, what if it was true?
and then I proceed to engage in a series of potentially toxic behaviors in an effort to justify or reestablish(as if it was ever gone) my place in a social relationship. “look at me, I have good and correct opinions.” “Look at this paper I wrote.” “Hey let me do that thing for you” “did I mention that I’m of a music industry lineage, aren’t I so cool for not doing the annoying nepobaby thing?”, “TELL ME I’M PRETTY”

2024 Goals

-Exercise more deliberately
I’ve since recovered from my injury and I just need to get back on the grind. I have a solid routine but it’s very intense so it’s often hard to be disciplined enough to get started after a day at work.
I might try doing the workout in the morning before work this year, see if my kayfabe as the office sleepy guy who doesn’t talk to anyone is enough to carry me through any peak fatigue moments at the 9 2 5



-Spend less time accidentally confusing people
this one is probably not going to happen, I just can’t help it.




-Release many Comics and digital Magazines
MANY COMICS, and MANY issues of eyeCatch! it’s going to be a massively awesome year! Maximum Effort!



-Collaborate with other Artists
I’ve mostly just been non active when it comes to something like this, but I learned recently from a few friends that I should just be more forward and start asking to be involved in stuff, or suck it up and make my own collabs.
we’ll see where things blow, but I want to get used to working with other people again.




-Sleep More and Eat More.
I don’t eat enough, I don’t sleep enough.  I want to eat more MEAT. I want to sleep for more than three hours. I have the tools, I just need to start using them.




-Experiment with Voice Over possibilities
soon it will be worm out instead of cold, and the act of speaking will not strain under chill or a lack of use.
I need to get back into doing voice overs.  I hear that people are into that.




-Post more frequently!
I spend most of my time online in chatrooms and in voice calls. and I suspect that everyone is getting sick of me.  so you will be seeing more of me fucking the air on Mastodon and Patreon this year.
as I observe and act on balancing my friends exposure to me. But that doesn’t mean that you have to exercise that balance. if you follow me on those places, you’ll get more Julian for your face.




-Finish Designing my Digital Stickerboard
I buy a lot of stickers and the odd piece of random art. and I just think it would be fun to set up a gallery of some kind, mimicking a pinboard, but it’s digital so I can arrange and rearrange my items for display as I like, while linking to the people who made them.
if/when I can manage it, each item would include a proof of purchase, and a note from me about it.  it would be a bit like how NFT people treat their art purchases, except NFTs are garbage and for losers, and I’m awesome so-

2024 Resolutions

-lower media consumption habits further
I have a frequent refrain that I’m sure all of my friends are sick of, “I have watched the most television of anyone that I know”, which is an embarrassing thing to say, because I can only vaguely recall much of it.  But it is true.
and that has spilled over into internet Video Media as well, I have developed a habit of watching videos while at work, listening to Video Essays about who cancelled who while shopping, actively unironically participating in live stream events, some times five time a week for upwards of three hours. It’s no wonder there’s so much noise in my brain, especially given that I don’t sleep. and it’s not due to any sort of aversion to silence, I relish silence, I just cannot let go of the desire to see whats next, whats new. and settle into the comfort of there just being something there at all, any information, whatever information.
in the past few months I have had the slight scare of having my Youtube account deleted by Youtube(then restored a week later), observed a video essayist on the rise be rightly outed for plagiarism, and a Tech personality weather a mini scandal regarding misinformation in his informational tech videos. on the whole, I just feel foolish for giving any of these venues so much of my time, and I could probably just as easily read a book while I’m at my day job if I put my mind to it.
I have also developed a habit of punching down on other people who enjoy these sorts of media and the people who make the media, and even in cases where I am correct in doing so, it’s probably better for me to just lower my engagement with it in general so as to not ruin the experience for others who likely even have better engagement habits than I do.  I don’t really need to know all of the information that is provided in the videos, and arguably who’s to say I even retain that much information from say, a Breadtube Video that I couldn’t have learned more from just reading an article on the subject. Becoming more comfortable with not knowing things may improve my life, and improve my relations with others, when they are given the opportunity to impart that information I don’t have of their own accord. of their own accord, is the key however, I would prefer to extend this courtesy to those invested in a subject matter to have achieved proper context and retention. It’s not cool when someone just links a video to a subject after bringing it up, but I will be disciplined and not  press the issue when it happens. Additionally I recently discovered a Tiktok person that I thought was funny and subscribed to her youtube channel.  the total runtime of her channel as of this writing is approximately 14 hours and I just can’t decide if I want to watch all 14 hours or not. should I? if it interests me, maybe I should. Not all at once though, maybe thats the key.




-Meditate regularly
speaking of silence.  I have stopped meditating for some reason and need to get back into it. Just giving myself a chance to really relax and reset my general awareness. I’m usually nicer afterwards anyway.





-work more consistently on “Project Holistic Modular Dreams”
as NFTs die a violent Death, yet A.I. image generation looms ever longer over the heads of artists, I think it’s in my best interests to exit the A.I. conversation. I have Friends who are finding ethical uses for A.I., family members who use A.I., and girls I think are hot who use A.I. and all seemingly in manners that benefit them meaningfully. Project HMD won’t use A.I., but for a lot of the more Malicious A.I. guys, the benefit of the technology is the ability to generate ideas quickly and at no tangible cost.
just as a matter of covering my own ass, I’m designing a series of assets that are intended to simplify my process in multiple ways for multiple kinds of media. Almost like clip Art or those kitbash sets are that just random junk thrown together. It sounds like I’m rambling, but you’ll get it when you see the final result.




-express more to the people I appreciate, that I love them
I just don’t do it, and maybe that needs to change. I only ever express it ironically, or when I think I will never see someone again.
I think I must have gotten shell shocked from all of the mistreatment earlier in my life.
if I can manage it, maybe I’m not as fucked up as I imagine everyone thinks I am, hee hee ho ho.
It’s going to be very difficult, I don’t even tell my Mother that I love her.


-Catalogue my reading library
and take the process of sharing my reading with others more seriously.
I was using Good Reads for all of two weeks, maybe I should log back in and give it a try.




-Refine my character Designs
I’ve been really inconsistent with my character designing, I never have Character sheets, and I never have colour references either. It kind of complicates the Commissioning process, and I  really like buying commissions of my OCs like it’s 2009 I’m wearing jco jeans glomping oshis and ooh, you better leave a comment on my page or I’mma gonna fire mah lazer and spam a llama badges




-start skateboarding again
Being 30 to 40 years old should mean that I should not be skateboarding, but I say fuck that. I’m going to stay radical and mondo cool, until I die. If you keep up with my steez, maybe you’ll learn a trick or two-
>falls head first into a slab on concrete

Whats happening with VQCD in 2024?

to start, I apologize to existing patrons for not incorporating your names into the works that were being published last year, this will be corrected going forward.
Additionally, more media is going to be published exclusively to Patreon,Fanbox, and vqcd.in(accessible w/patreon login at the highest patreon tier)
this likely won’t start until March however, thank you again to everyone who spoke with me regarding refunds during my break.
Taking lessons learned from my past endeavors in digital publishing, I think those who have stuck around will be very impressed and happy with what I have planned.


Tarot Set:
I thumbnailed a set of Tarot cards in 2023, at some point I plan on detailing and fully drawing them. I hope they turn out to be worth sharing.


my Life and Style Art Magazine will be launching soon. While light on reading (Articles, what are they good for-) initially, eyeCatch is planned to be a bundle of work that only Cool People can enjoy and will be of significant benefit to other artists participating.
for YOU the reader however it will be FREE! with a secondary DELUXE edition being published shortly after for a modest price (many of these Deluxe extras will be eyecatch exclusive, you won’t see them anywhere else)
in order to keep things at a realistic pace, a Monthly edition is being planned. But we’ll see how things go.

I use to draw so many comics as a kid.  I once drew an entire 16 pages in just one day. It wasn’t very good, but I refuse to be mogged by the 14 year old self.  You will get comics from Me!

Best Games of 2023

Excluding all of the obvious ones, you’ve already heard of from everywhere else on the planet, I only had a few games really stand out to me as absolute bang fuck wow Games this year, and apparently some of them didn’t even come out in 2023, so bare with me
and try not to Gamer Rage.

– Charming up the Corporate Ladder – Metal Gear Solid V:The Phantom Pain – Have a Nice Death – Renfield: Bring your Own Blood –

Idol Showdown – Golden Light – Relic Hunters Legend – Tactics Ogre: Reborn – The Coffin of Andy and Leyley
– Blanc – HROT – Windowkill –

– Metal Black™ S-Tribute – Sniper Elite 5 Season Pass Two – BOOK OF HOURS –  Odinfall  – Dino Mercs –

2023 a YEAR OF TV

Those of you who know me, know that I am a big TV Freak. I love watching TV, I love movies, thats why I’m a VIP Member of Trakt.tv (this is not a sponsored message, I’m sorry that I keep bringing this up, my hope is that it eventually becomes funny)

Trakt keeps track of everything I watch that isn’t a podcast or a Youtube Video, and is the supplier of the below data:

  • 1548 Videos Played

  • Totaling 937 Hours

  • Including 232 Shows

2023 Most Watched Shows

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1d 23h 33m, Wynonna Earp 1d 9h 44m, Good Eats 22h 52m, Billions 22h 52m, Hannibal 22h 42m, Ted Lasso 22h 13m, Barry 16h 16m, Rick and Morty 15h 8m

Ultraman Z 12h 30m, Succession 12h 11m

First Thing I watched in 2023:

Beast Wars: Transformers – 3×06 “Feral Scream (2)

The Most Popular time for me to watch TV is 12:00PM

this is probably because I like to press shuffle on my Comedy Playlist when I’m at work

Crazy Numbers:
572 Hours: Per Month  47.7  Per Week 10.8 Per Day 1.6

1,301 Plays: Per Month  108.4 Per Week 24.5 Per Day 3.6

the Sound of 2023

Those of you who know me know how complicated my relationship with Music is, I love it, I hate, I hate Music, ooh I hate Music, I hate music so much, I hate Musicians, I hate singers, I hate it and also I love it, can’t live without Music.
I also love to gamify things. Thanks to Last.fm, everything I listen to, from Music, to Podcasts, to YouTube, to Twitch is logged and counted for my number go up pleasure.
revealing some interesting insights about the kinds of noise I put up with on a daily basis:

Scrobbles: 28,955,

Total Artists: 7331, Total Albums: 4597, Total Tracks: 19,416, Most active hour: 2:00pm

Total Listening time: 124 days, 18 hours

I listened to 201 tracks with the word ‘love’ in the title in 2023.

Top New Artist with 167 scrobbles: ESTIMATE 에스티메이트 (Production Company behind the OST for my favorite Phone Game Destiny Child)

First Track of the Year: The first track I scrobbled in 2023 was Get Ready 2 Rokk by Freezepop.
I don’t remember listening to this.

Normally at the start of the year I have a Music playlist to share with friends, and people on social media.  But I have grown weary of Youtube as a platform, I don’t appreciate that they deleted my first (and oldest) YouTube History Playlist, cataloging years of my watch history and many unlisted videos I’ll never find again, and then later just closing my account, seemingly in error. if you know me personally, maybe we can Stream it in a Discord voice Call some time. I like the combonation of Tracks I picked out and I wish I could share them without feeling like I’m risking my account.

Special Thanks to:

Glenn, Rachel, Linus Sebastian, Todd Howard, Boots Riley, Kelly, Adrian, Eola, Charles Schultz, Alyssa Wong, Stiffler, Akio Wantanabe, erare, Cheesymanfredo, Sapling, Kazoochachoo, Sarahsarahyou’resofinesarahbabeyoublowmymindheysarahheysarah
Hippocrit, CecilyRenns, Spiral_Senshi, the various silly breadtubers I watch, Maky, Felix/Sabrina, Ullskay, squizxy, LJSkipper, Anasheya, Gloomy, Guster, Cosmere, White Julian, Alisa, Eric, Nick/Blu, that other guy who’s name I keep forgetting – the Madden Kid, PizzaBat, Isolation Prince, Koldi, Calla, Michael, Sleims, Insy, Oshirae, TK, Cory, Crow, Gaylee, Chipwiseman, flowergothic, the guy with the skull motif does the crafts and things I keep forgetting his name,  Pug_Ugly, Ben Saint, Sporktown
Laura, Rael, RiriMeap, idiodidact, Jess, TectonicImprov, Tom Lazan, Garrett Hunter, kbash, c2ol, catmask calico, Sakurafit, Charles, Holly Dittus, Patera Bach, Maggie Mae Fish (I totally get her vibe),
the GPD Engineers, Cooler, the Plex Development Team, Sort Vokter, IglooGert, Klllylou, Cliff, Ononoki, Pearl Universe, everyone who made Comics that I read in 2023, Everyone who Wrote Books that I read in 2023.
the FX Archer Crew, I havent seen the finale yet, but I thank you for your hard work.

My Financial Supporters in 2023:
Dimps, xXFlannaganXx, Tulip, Chancehomo, saruStation360, Caprou, Quinton

everyone who follows me on Social Media
the two absolute strangers who follow my RSS Feed

the friendly people who react to my work in Discord