viewdata provided in aggregate via my Plex Server, Letterboxd and trakt.tv

I have been changed by the events of 2020.  being allowed to be alone with my thoughts in my room with a family size bag of SourPatchKids  will probably do that.

but I was already a reclusive crowd hating hermit.
there a-are other things – I have had character progression. for better or worse.

I have developed a strange tick, wherein I will hold my breath when in conversation with another person ~ I dont know why, but it is really difficult to talk to people, and that’s like 88% of my day job.  Whoops, gotta fix that.

I have grown a bit as an artist.  I’d like to think that my goal of removing certain artistic elements of what I was taught and replacing them with simpler lines and shapes has been realized.  But I will likely only know after I compare this year’s works to 2021’s

I have become more confident as a writer.  Either because I have somewhat improved, or I just stopped caring about what the words actually look like on the page. most likely the later.  Vindicated by conversations I’ve had with some of my former colleagues (who out of work due to the pandemic, emailed me assuming that my old Games Journalism network didn’t crash and burn and bankrupt me, and that I’d have jobs for them.  lol sorry guys) I am looking forward to sharing more of my writing.  I will also eventually, get back into padding and filling my wiki –

despite my keeping busy, I didnt really get much material projects done in 2020.  I closed the Patreon, and then Reopened it (check it out on the store page, I post art there, if you’re a fan of    s e x  and the concept of   i m  a g e s   o f   w o m e n s   b o d i e s | I think I offer a lot for a Dollar )

I also did a drawing  day in October.  That was neat’o cool.

a lot of stuff got put on the back burner though.

The Internet Porn Podcast MillionSinSaga, might be in indefinite hiatus because my co-hosts time schedules and mine have been altered to a point that I think we just kind of stopped asking each other, “when are you free to record”  – that, coupled with my inability to record audio that doesnt have a ton of noise in it.  I’ll get around to it eventually.  There must be a plugin I can use or something.

other things put on hold:

I lost a lot of data for the Sextillion project (back up your data, people). Sextillion is kind of like, my biggest baby. three years of writing has gone into it but every attempt to turn it into something interactive gets stuck.  I think I might forego making it into a game for now and do  a comic version.  Just to get something out of it, because I want to move on to other aspects of that particular idea and the characters I have created, but skipping entire parts of it, wouldn’t work well with what I have planned.

Sextillion is what I hope to be, my way of communicating to others ~ some of the things I havent said out loud, or lacked the words to say at prior points in time.  Whether those particular people hear it, doesnt really matter NOW, since I’ve ghosted pretty much everyone I havent already gotten on my hands and knees and begged for mercy from.  But maybe it’ll be a good spring board for other people who think the way I do, or grew up the way I did.

Making the story that I had written into a game rather than just publishing the writing, seemed like the best way to go about it.  Maybe some time later.

It’s a bit silly to make anything resembling a “goals for 2021 list lol” since I dont really feel like any of my material desires have changed since 2016 (it’s just been 2016 over and over and over and over and all I want is enough money to live, but also enough money to support other people’s art, my family’s art, and maybe to make some investment in a more constructive future for humanity. but also I want sex workers, lots and lots of sex workers.  on my dick. ladies, dudes, and enbys of the future. I have money, you have bodies. let’s talk. Ideal scenario so long as capitalism is  thing, is me paying you.  for your    l a b o u  r.    uwu.    I also want to move somewhere cold, but with great internet.  maybe my house is made of stone.  yeah.  that would be nice. )

I do want to take note of a few things to remind myself of and ensure that I extrapolate on them later (probably in my wiki, which I will not forget to update, I promise):

comics are a legitimate medium

be more kind, to yourself and to others.  stop assuming the worst, right from the start of things.

stop buying video games.  finish what you have first. you have hundreds of games to play.
getting bored of MGSV runs doesnt mean to go out and buy more games to ignore for another MGSV run later.

buy some clothes when you’ve cleared out the debt you added to your pre2020 debt.  more black and less pink please. you’ve lost weight, and your pants dont fit.

dont forget to book a visit to the doctor before October if this covid19 thing does ever blow over by then.

remember to clear out the Radarr movie queue at some point

have some confidence in your ideas  and push them to failure in a complete state, rather than failure in utero

Halloween is every day

not everyone wants to her about what you dont like – it’s not necessary to chime in every time someone mentions their favorite media thing that you dont like.  they get it julain, you dont respect the pro anon podcast you dont watch twitch.

maybe stop apologizing for things you havent done?  that cant be good for your brain.

buy a rice cooker already

the sanitized internet isn’t your enemy.  it is however, unreliable.

Never be cruel.  Cruelty in the place of empathy, even when there is nothing you can do, is always bad.

be conscious of your unconscious decisions to commit to tasks that dont contribute to your long term goals. it was not urgent to spend 3 days organizing your ebook collection by author
-that being said, please do remember to scan those Food and Wine Magazines into pdfs before you’re forced to throw them away later